‘It’s not about getting the one you love, It’s all about loving the one you got’ – badshah.net
OK so it's a play on the quote ' Life isn't about getting what you want, it's all about wanting what you got ' - by I'm not sure who came up with it, but it’s pretty good.
In life we become deaf to sounds which are playing/ around us on a constant. One example of this is the beep allot of smoke detectors make. When on the phone to a friend I notice every beep, but he is now functionally deaf to the beeps.
The same goes for all the amazing qualities our partners have. We become in a way deaf/ blind to these. We have to actively ponder every few months on all those qualities we fell for them in the first place.
Another aspect of this is actually romancing your partner. As a man, and this is only my take on the matter I've come to learn that all women like, love and really enjoy romance. It doesn't really come natural to most men, but that's OK. We just need to work on it.
The easiest way to do this after many years of marriage, is to act like your teenage self, start thinking like you did then.
You dressed to impress, you smelled nice, and you send cheeky text messages, the odd flower, card, meal out. When you were with them, you weren’t on the phone or watching TV etc, you gave them your full attention. You get the idea. Now this doesn't need to be a 24/7 behaviour, but for most of us men it does need to be actively planned and done on frequent but irregular time. The act of actively romancing ones partner induces love. So put something in your phones diary to remind you to do something romantic.
Note: being romantic is not about the money for most women (so they say), it is about the thought that has gone into the gesture. Buying red roses when she's informed you in a conversation she thinks they're over rated, means you buy some other variety of flowers. Better still grow some native variety in the garden or a community area (guerrilla gardening is awesome), and occasionally cut and tie some in a bundle and present them to her.